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Hablaba hoy con Estíbaliz de la increíble habilidad que tenemos para complicarnos la vida y desgastarnos. Todo comienza cuando nos enfocamos en tenerlo todo controlado en vez de generar el poder de dirigir e influenciar. Cuando queremos controlarlo todo, las cosas suelen suceder a veces. Sin embargo, cuando nos centramos en generar el cambio que queremos, las cosas suelen suceder con más frecuencia.
Enfocar en la abundancia o en la escasez, lo que vulgarmente se llama la botella medio llena o medio vacía, nos predispone hacia la superación o hacia el victimismo. El victimismo normalmente se cuenta muchas historias sobre los porque no y las causas de que no salga como esperábamos. Todo suena lógico y coherente y parece como si estuviéramos efectivamente lidiando con los problemas para solucionarlos, aunque no lo terminemos de hacer, …por causas ajenas a nosotras mismas (¡!). Emocionalmente nos vamos desgastando, entristeciendo o encolerizando y la espiral nos va hundiendo en una vida en escasez que no queremos vivir.
Si nos enfocamos en la abundancia, aunque aparentemente suena más difícil de realizar, y lo vamos haciendo uno a una sin afectarnos y sin dejarnos laxos pero cuidando de construir la vida que queremos, pronto nos sorprenderemos que estemos cambiando los patrones de comportamiento y generando satisfacción, motivación y esfuerzo en liderar nuestro propio cambio.
Parece simple, porque es simple; solo hay que entrenar músculo en cada pequeña situación para ir poco a poco hacia la vida que queremos vivir; mirando cada elección, no como una obligación, sino como una posibilidad entre muchas otras. Elegir la correcta y si no lo es, elegir otra… porque aprender haciendo es el aprendizaje generado de lo que no ha ido bien y de la rectificación que hemos realizado.
Elegir abundancia, es solo una elección, la de cada una y de la que cada una es responsable. Ser consciente de este detalle, es lo que establece nuestro nivel de responsabilidad para con nosotras mismas y para la vida que queremos vivir y con quien queremos disfrutarla. Escasez, en este contexto, sería hacernos responsables de lo que no nos corresponde, porque puede que lo hagamos desde el control de los réditos y no desde el afecto y la generosidad a los demás. Réditos es igual a escasez; generosidad es igual a abundancia.
Me gusta hacer la analogía de la mecedora, ese lugar desde donde resolvemos todas y cada una de las cuestiones en un tiempo infinitesimal y en movimiento constante, sin embargo al levantarnos de ella, seguimos ahí en el mismo lugar. Aparentemente todo controlado, todo resuelto, pero todo sigue por hacer. Solo nos falta el tiempo que ya no volverá, así pues invirtamos el tiempo en cumplir nuestras prioridades.
El esfuerzo para hacer lo que queremos requiere menos esfuerzo que en hacer lo que no queremos; ya puestos hagamos lo que queremos para liderar la transformación que necesitamos. Si nos vamos a sacrificar, mejor por lo que deseamos o a lo que aspiramos.
Celebrarnos es una parte de todo proceso de transformación. Celebrarnos es apartar la inercia de la escasez y comprender de manera explícita la realidad transformadora sin enfrentarnos a ella; es tomar la decisión de actuar sin preocupándonos de la causa efecto de escasez, sino de pre-ocuparnos por la posibilidad de “y si… y si, todo cambia. Los errores son parte inseparable de la propia vida, insoslayables que nos permiten crecer, oportunidades de mejora. Si no te decides, puedes vivir en el error constante. Aunque recuerda emplear tú energía en distinguir lo importante de lo urgente: de lo que necesitas y no de lo que te gustaría. Hay muchas cosas que no necesitas para vivir abundantemente, elige lo que te haga realmente un ser feliz y pleno.